Bye Felicia

Breaking Up To Break It Down

Overall when it comes to reading advice on being forever alone single, dealing with men and dating/relationship advice, it normally goes in one little drunken ear and out the other.

dont careWhich the fact that I don’t pay much attention to any of these is most likely my problem today.

im the only single im the only single2

I just prefer to let life be the real teacher. Nothing can teach you like the experience of your own. And from random conversations with that one aunt.

gtf over it and move onWhile being told that wearing more camisoles and brightly colored cardigans will make you appear more friendly and less intimidating to latch you a man are eyeroll worthy, the advice columns about break-ups are usually the ones that are the fucking worst. Sure, some can be inspiring or thought provoking, but then there are others that troll in with advice like:

EAT YOUR FEELINGS

TAKE MEDICATION

SPILL ALL THE DETAILS OF THE BREAK-UP

TAKE A SUPER WILD TRIP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

and the goddamn Nickelback worst:

GET UNDER A NEW GUY TO GET OVER THE OLD ONE

new mail4

Now, I almost wish that this person that recently made news read at LEAST that hot mess bundle of advice, because she clearly didn’t read the ones that were for sane people. Let’s just call her….Felicia.

ex bf calls

WTF

WHET

FELICIA. GURL.

That’s 121,669 shades of NO DAMN MA’AM. In a span of seven days.

You should call NO ONE 77,639 times in one week. NOT. ONE. SOUL. Not work related people, not your mama, not your amazing sibling, not Jake from State Farm, not your best friend from childhood, not Tyrone, not your fabulous friend that gets even more fabulous after they’ve have a few cocktails, not the pizza place, not even on Jesus. He has enough on his plate, sis.

jesusClearly you never read a break up tip post-it let alone an actual column, or owned an Beyonce‘ album, or had a heart to heart with someone or been forced to watch He’s Just Not That Into You with a girlfriend on a drunken Saturday night.

So, thanks for the inspiration on breaking this down, and this is for you Felicia.

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Lesson 2013

Coming into 2013, this year had a LOT to compete with in comparison to all of the changes that were made in 2012. I had moved out, broken up, started a blog, lost some old friends and gained some new ones. Like all of us I had no idea what to expect and now as I sit in the final day of this year I have to say this was the most interesting because I got to build on what has changed, grow more into the person I want to be, and truly take in what all 2013 has taught me.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1 Despite what Drake says, it’s okay to be open to new friends.

Overall I’ve gotten closer to people who were already in my life in some capacity but one person definitely comes to mind as a new friend I’ve gained this year and I couldn’t imagine having to have gone through this year without her. Her wit, her support, her wisdom, her encouragement–thank you for always being there to listen, to drink, to dance, throw shade, vent, make me laugh and proving it’s okay to let strangers into your circle. new friends
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BYE FELICIA!

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“Bye Felicia”:  When someone says something that you really could give two shits about—their name then becomes “felicia”, a random bitch that nobody is sad to see go. They’re real name becomes irrelevant and instead, they now are “Felicia”.

Everyone has their signature catchphrase that they have or they’re known for. I think I have a few of them but the one I am most known for lately with people that know me is calling out Felicia.

Now everyone seems to do it. Because it just works for shit you just don’t have time for.

sb

I’ll always have time for Sweet Brown, but the Felicias of the world have got to go.

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